So Wednesday I went back out to the Brothers school. The Intermediate group in Arvada is advanced beyond the group I train with at the Denver school. The training went well enough, but for the randori session afterwards I got my ass handed to me. Paired up with a high level blue belt, I couldn't even get the guy into my guard. I couldn't get to the mount, or maintain any sort of control over his movements. In short I felt totally ineffective. It certainly isn't easy to admit that, but I'll be damned if I am going to come away from the experience deluding myself. The reality is that practice, and time and skill outweigh enthusiasm. The only way to counter what I experienced is to push forward into the unknown, the unpracticed. To learn from what happened, and then keep on learning until it won't happen again. The thing is, there will always be someone better, stronger. Some people might consider that fact to be fatalistic- to take that reality and consider it bleak. Those people might quit. They might look at their 35 yr old body and develop a belief that they are past it.
I'm not past it. Actually, for what I set out to do I am doing pretty well. I never meant to become a world champion. Just stronger. Time, effort, persistance, and patience will have to be my new tag words. This is a refresh of my will to fight.
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