Learning to be at home with "losing"

I noticed last Saturday that I am doing something wrong. I noticed that over these past few weeks I have started to focus on winning, rather than training. During a roll, I could feel pride start creeping in when I am in a bad position, and then I find myself forgetting about position, and forgetting about the game- and that is when I start hunting for submissions. It's sloppy, and it isn't improving my game- it's just "winning". So what exactly do I win there? Nothing. In fact, I am losing out because I am spending my class time training improper technique.

This week I am focusing on position, and I am focusing on technique. I decided for myself that if I can get positioning right then it is ok to proceed- but if the position is bad and I can't get where I want to go- I'm gonna lose. When I lose I'm gonna be humble because I will learn more in failure from trying to work position correctly than I would from a sloppy success.

Tuesday was my first night working this way. I "lost" on all 3 rolls- but that is ok. I noticed something- when you submit your training partner is always more interested in helping you work out the mistake you made.

We are working on Knee on Belly this week (my favorite) this time the work is from the bottom- how to escape knee on belly. We also got a new attack, but it was designed more like preventative medicine- "Here is an attack an opponent could try from knee on belly- this is what you want to avoid". The escape works well- although every encounter with knee on belly reminds me that I need more core strength. Basically the escape is to get both elbows past the knee, then hip out while blocking with the hands. after the escape start looking to replace guard- maybe even a sweep if they are off balance.